Luckygohappy
Member
Posts: 30
Registered: 07-15-2005 Location:
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posted on 09-09-2005 at 22:37 |
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secondary virginity
I'm seriously thinking about becoming a secondary virgin. Up until I was 19, I intended on saving myself for marriage. Then, it happened one night. I'm almost 21 now & have had sex probably over 350 times with three different guys and one girl, and it's brought me nothing but trouble. It ruined my friendship with the first guy and became the basis of my relationship with the third, who ended up raping me on two occasions when he wanted it and I didn't. I've had three pregnancy scares and gotten both genital herpes and HPV. Not to mention several yeast and bladder infections and all the emotional hurt i've gone through as a result of all this.....
So do you think I should become a secondary virgin, or is it too late??
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aasim548
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 09-09-2005 Location: Pak
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posted on 09-10-2005 at 00:00 |
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Wot Women r made for??
Text
Hi... wot do u think is it right to become a second virigin r just to become a life partner of a true n honest man who wud like to care u for ever n u wud not have to knock at all the doors for ur sex requirements...
That y the girls r asked to marry rather than to become sex partners for a man for few days n then keep on changing their partners...
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The Virgin Nurse
Senior Member
Posts: 117
Registered: 06-04-2005 Location: Somewhere in Louisiana
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posted on 09-11-2005 at 17:25 |
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Second time as a virgin..
I think it's a GREAT IDEA!
Go you for wanting to become a virgin again!
I wish you luck!
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Luckygohappy
Member
Posts: 30
Registered: 07-15-2005 Location:
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posted on 09-12-2005 at 17:02 |
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on second thought...
I don't think i can go through with it, come to think about it. "Andy", the second guy I was with, and I are starting to get serious again. I'm completely in love with him and I see us getting married one day. Andy and I dated for over a year, and most of my experiences have been with him. Personally, I see nothing wrong with me continuing to have sex with him.
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Luckygohappy
Member
Posts: 30
Registered: 07-15-2005 Location:
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posted on 09-23-2005 at 12:10 |
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grrr
Forget my last post; Andy's been playing games, and I just found out that he's been messing around with both me & another woman!! I was his first and he's the only one I've had meaningful sex with, but apparently that all means nothing to him 
So I'm done having sex for awhile... maybe not til marriage, but at least until I find a guy who's not gonna hurt me like those 3 have
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The Virgin Nurse
Senior Member
Posts: 117
Registered: 06-04-2005 Location: Somewhere in Louisiana
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posted on 09-26-2005 at 20:26 |
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I'm sorry Lucky...
sorry to hear that...I'm waiting till marriage too....I'm still a virgin...heck...I might die with my virginity...I have to give that one a chance....
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tocute2belifted
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 10-07-2005 Location: deltona florida
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posted on 10-07-2005 at 07:26 |
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should i wait even if i am married
well im 16 and my bf is 18 and we are married and live together,an i am a virgin. but the thing about is when he does get all horny and stuff i do stuff but just dont ley him take my virginty away because i think i am too young.can any one please!!!!!!!!!!!! help me with this problem i need to no am i tooo young to do this even if i am married.
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moonlite
Member
Posts: 93
Registered: 07-20-2005 Location:
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posted on 10-07-2005 at 17:08 |
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Even if Married
 Why did you get married anyway? You sound foolish on two counts. If you sre too young to have sex you are also too young to make a home! i think you are just joking 
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anonymous
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 12-11-2005 Location:
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posted on 12-11-2005 at 18:09 |
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Regrets
Hi everyone! This is a very interesting topic and I wanted to join because I feel I have lots of advice to offer, and value to recieve!
Well, here's my story, I am not a virgin. I lost it when I was about 15. I have had many boyfriends since then. My views on sexuality and my body have changed a lot since then.
I really wish I would have waited. My body is my temple, and sex is incredibly important to me. Is there such a thing as a secondary virgin? If so, how? Can someone please explain that to me?
I respect everyone on here who have waited. Not that losing your virginity is bad, but it is bad when the guy isn't even worthy of you.
Anyways, thanks for answering in advance!
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The Virgin Nurse
Senior Member
Posts: 117
Registered: 06-04-2005 Location: Somewhere in Louisiana
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posted on 12-16-2005 at 23:24 |
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WTF!
quote:
should i wait even if i am married
well im 16 and my bf is 18 and we are married and live together,an i am a virgin. but the thing about is when he does get all horny and stuff i do stuff but just dont ley him take my virginty away because i think i am too young.can any one please!!!!!!!!!!!! help me with this problem i need to no am i tooo young to do this even if i am married.
What the deuce made you get married at 16!! WTH,man What were you thinking! However....I think that your fabricating your story....
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Chemical_Compound
Newbie
Posts: 6
Registered: 02-16-2006 Location: Texas
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posted on 02-17-2006 at 03:25 |
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Deltona Florida Marriage License Facts
Well for the 16 year old who is married to the 18 year old. Number one.. in my state it is illegal for anyone over 18 to even look at anyone under 18 much less anything else. I am not sure if there are any laws that allow parental concent in my state, but in "Deltona Florida" persons can purchase a marriage license if they are of age (18 with all the needed itentification) or if they have parental concent from both parties parents.
The following is from the State of Florada's marriage license facts website.
Residency: You need not be a resident of Florida to apply for a marriage license in this state. AGE: Persons 18 years of age and older may apply without parental consent. Persons under 18 years of age may apply with consent of both parents. Consent forms are available form the Clerk.
AGE: Persons 18 years of age and older may apply without parental consent. Persons under 18 years of age may apply with consent of both parents. Consent forms are available form the Clerk.
Exceptions to Age Requirements: A male or female under the age of 18 may apply if previously married and divorced. A certified copy of the final judgment is required at the time of applying for the license. A male or female under the age of 18 may apply if they are parents of a child or are expectant parents. They are required to sign an affidavit provided by the clerk stating their parental status. If pregnant an applicant is required to provide a letter from a physician verifying the pregnancy.
Application Fee: A fee in the amount of $88.50 in cash, Money order, Visa or Mastercard is required at the time the application is made. PERSONAL CHECKS CANNOT BE ACCEPTED. Fees are non Refundable.
I found this same info on about 10 other sites for Deltona Florida.
More than likely it is a fabricated story... at any rate I would urdge KIDS to not get married until they are of age (18 or over 18) and are sure that this is what they want.
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The_Scribe
Member
Posts: 61
Registered: 02-16-2006 Location:
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posted on 02-17-2006 at 08:39 |
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No "second" time.
There is no second time. Once it's gone it's gone.
Especially if you have an std.
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22yearguyvirgin
Senior Member
Posts: 104
Registered: 01-18-2006 Location:
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posted on 02-20-2006 at 00:10 |
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second virginity
Admittedly it is not the same as a true virgin, but a person discovering a new found respect for themselves and their body is a beautiful thing. Now I'm not sure that you will fully understand this, Scribe, because I don't know how much your church has gotten into it but anyone is capable of gaining Gods forgiveness for their past even a person with an STD. Its great that you feel a strong faith in the church but you need to learn a little forgiveness yourself.
It is never too late to practice abstinence. Just make certain that your future partners, if you have any, know about your past and know that you have STDs.
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The_Scribe
Member
Posts: 61
Registered: 02-16-2006 Location:
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posted on 02-20-2006 at 13:06 |
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.
I will forgive anyone and be their friend.
But just like they had their choice to have sex before marriage. (which is a sin)
I have my choice in only marrying a true virgin.
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22yearguyvirgin
Senior Member
Posts: 104
Registered: 01-18-2006 Location:
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posted on 02-25-2006 at 00:16 |
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Scribe
I understand your desire to marry another virgin. I didn't mean to make it sound like I thought you were wrong. I actually want to marry a virgin myself. It is a personal decision and wanting to marry a person with similar value and experiences is fine. It was just a little bothersome how condemning your first post sounded. We are all sinners and deserve a little understanding and a second chance.
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Luckygohappy
Member
Posts: 30
Registered: 07-15-2005 Location:
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posted on 08-04-2007 at 00:01 |
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update
There is a such thing as a second chance... I became a born-again Christian a few months ago, and I was baptized in the beginning of June. The Lord has forgiven me for my sins, including the sin of premarital sex.
As for Andy, he couldn't accept the fact that I wanted to stop having sex in favor of waiting for marriage, and our relationship got really miserable. I prayed for a sign as to God's intentions for me and Andy, and a few days later, I met Jim. Jim is everything I've ever looked for in a man and he respects me more than anyone ever has before... he loves me for who I am, even tho he knows what mistakes I've made in the past. We are both Christians, and we agree that God had a hand in bringing us together. Also, we both want to wait to have sex until we're married (which is where we see this relationship going)
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liz25
Member
Posts: 46
Registered: 02-26-2006 Location:
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posted on 10-21-2007 at 17:09 |
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being selfless rather than selfish
'I will forgive anyone and be their friend.
But just like they had their choice to have sex before marriage. (which is a sin)
I have my choice in only marrying a true virgin.'
But what kind of sense does that make? You should ask yourself "Who am I to decide what is best for me? More poignantly, who am I to hold someone's past against them? God has forgiven me for numerous sins, and I'm called to pay that SAME grace forward. Paul was very clear that "love makes no list of wrongs." And if you make a decision not to date someone simply because they have had sex, you are holding their sins against them. Do you need to be cautious and make sure their sexual conquests are not a reflection of their heart? Absolutely. Do you need to engage this person in a serious and personal conversation to make sure they don't have an STD. Without a doubt. But you can't judge her heart based on her past. How would you feel if a woman regected you because you used to struggle with loneliness? Or anger? Or jealousy? Remember, the standard that you measure unto others will be measured unto you! What goes around, comes around.
Don't limit who God is trying to bring into your life. I've learned far more about unconditional love from people whose past experiences were vastly different from mine than those who walked a similar path. Besides, those who are forgiven much, love much. Your concern should be focused on where her HEART is!
I commend you on your physical obedience, but you don't DESERVE a virgin wife. I don't DESERVE a virgin husand. What we DESERVE died with Christ upon the cross.
We're not following God when we believe we deserve a virgin, we're following our own selfish whims and the 'legalistic rules' placed upon us by the church. What matters is whether the person has God in their heart! If they have God in their heart and they've been forgiven, that person is as 'white as snow' again. (Quoted from the bible) God wants Christians to follow his example when it comes to Grace. Otherwize we are living by what we think is best for us (selfish) rather than being led by God.
If you choose to with-hold your love from someone by not dating or marrying them because of their past then YOU ARE holding their sins and past against them whether you admit it or not. This is just as big of a sin in God's eyes. Choosing not to marry someone because they are not a virgin, is like God telling us we're forgiven and then with-holding his friendship and love from US because of our past.
If you study your bible more closely and prey about it, God will reveal the 'truth' to you rather than believing what has obviously been 'wrongly taught' to you. There are numerous biblical examples everywhere in the bible about this issue if you just study it.
When I look for a husband, I'm looking for:
1) What his relationship with the lord is like? Is he on the same level spirifually?
2) Then I move on to the heart and personality. This is MUCH more important than someone's past sexual status.
Yes, you can chose to marry a virgin, but it would be foolish to turn-down other wonderful people, (people who GOD may have LED you to) just because you can't see past your own selfish desires. Will this choice bring the best marriage? The most happiness? This choice is unwize and based on selfishness and you'll obviously have to live with the consequences. Don't base you're decisions on own some kind of selfish entitlement. God does not entitle US to anything and being a Christian is no different. He DOES entitle us to show Grace to other people and THEN God will bless you.
Also, no Christian can admit they are sinless. If you judge someone because they had sex before marriage, then you should also be judged for every little sin you've commited in the past as well. All sins are equal in God's eye. I'm glad not everyone has your view points. If they did, you're past sins would make you unworthy of marriage in the same way you seem to believe that non-virgins are unworthy to marry a virgin. Once forgiven a virgin and non-virgin are one and the same. There is no difference between them. They are certaintly equal in God's eyes.
I don't see much of God or Love in your life at all. I see someone who is following, not God, but a legalistic religion in which you place yourself 'above other people' That is not what it means to follow God or have a personal relationship with him. I hope you can meditate on Gods word so that the holy spirit speaks to YOU because you also risk turning non-believers entirely 'off' to Christianity because your views. If I were a non-Christian, I would have NO interest in Christianity whatsoever based on your view-points.
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Parthena
Member
Posts: 57
Registered: 07-07-2007 Location: Greece
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posted on 12-18-2007 at 08:14 |
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Judgementalism
While holding someone's past against them in the matter of sexual 'experience' is not wise or biblical, there is such a thing as baggage. When you marry someone, you marry all of them, including all the memories in their head and body (yes, the body does have memories of its own). Also, if the person you are marrying has felt it was okay to sleep with people before they marry you then this is not just a few 'encounters' but a whole-life attitude. It's different if they made a mistake. Mistakes happen. Like, "I got drunk and my mates managed to get me in the sack with a hooker and it didn't mean anything." That is a mistake. But: "I was in a relationship with a girl and I thought I really loved her and we had sex and then I realised I didn't really love her enough to marry her"... etc etc... that is not a mistake but a deliberate action or set of actions resulting from a fundamental core of beliefs and principles the person has and which are not easy to change or do away with. We must keep this in mind when choosing a life partner. A random dead leaf of a past sinful act can be pulled off the tree with little negative effect. But if you see lots of dead leaves you start to wonder about the health of the whole tree. It's what's at the root or core that counts, not what's on the surface.
I also agree that some virgins are constantly hung up on sexual purity for different reasons. The bible never advocated this (although I understand there could be good reasons for it, for example past abuse) and we should also understand that many people, especially non-virgins, have had sex seemingly 'casually' because they just weren't so hung up on it and took it along with eating and breathing, not thinking too much about it. This is far healthier than constantly worrying how pure your future partner/husband/wife will be, in my opinion. But it's always the way, as someone once said: Atheists never stop talking about God. Jews love to discuss Jesus; poor people money; and virgins, sex!
Having said all this however, I should also say that, as long as we're discussing the bible, we should remember ALL of what it says, and not just some. The apostles warn against uniting our body with 'prostitutes'. We are told that our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Just think about that for awhile. However much you value your body is how much you value the Holy Spirit. And according to the love you show Him, He will reward you in the end. The choice is totally up to you (Christian).
Peace.
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