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The_Scribe
Member
Posts: 61
Registered: 02-16-2006 Location:
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posted on 04-05-2006 at 19:23 |
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The hymen, tampons, etc.
"There are alot of misconceptions about the hymen. New medical research has shown that most hymens are a lot more resilient and elastic than most people think, and particularly so during adolescence. Medical research on the effects of tampon use on the hymen in women who have not yet engaged in sexual activity involving penetration has shown that regular use of typical tampons has a statistically insignificant risk (smaller than 2%) of causing damage or trauma to the hymen that was later visible to examining physicians."
So, the hymen is much more resilient than most people tell you.
They are raely broken even by tampon use.
So, if anyone tell you other wise they are lying.
I would suggest using pads though.
Virgins have hymens, period. 
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thismooseissex
Newbie
Posts: 8
Registered: 04-03-2006 Location: stafford, va
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posted on 04-05-2006 at 22:00 |
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can i....
if i can use a vibrator does that mean i dont have a hymen?
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melvaughn
Member
Posts: 68
Registered: 06-30-2005 Location:
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posted on 04-06-2006 at 08:19 |
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Hymen
I've used these reusable menstrual cups before. They are a replacement for tampons. The product comes with a warning that you should not use it if you have strong feelings about keeping your hymen intact. The first time that I inserted it I experienced a LOT of pain and a little bit of bleeding and my hymen broke...so YES, not all hymens are thick... That divacup website is a sales pitch and they are trying to make money off of a new product so of course they will tell you how wonderful it is, but when I bought the product it came with a warning and my hymen broke. The divacup is four inches wider and thicker than a tampon which is pencil thin in comparison...I also found the thing almost impossible to insert. I would NOT reccomend it for a virgin at all!!!! How would you know about a women's hymen anyway? ARe you a women? Unless you have a hymen yourself, you can't know what women experience. The hymen comes in four different shapes in the avarage women and each women is different. Some break very easily, simply from falling down or an accident as a child.
There is nothing remotely symbolic about a hymen. It's a layer of skin that breaks, tears, rips, can bleed for a week, can sometimes cause internal scarring for months....If your future wife doesn't have a hymen or has broken it accidentially count yourself lucky....you will have less hassels. I met one women that was incapable of having sex for six months because she had a thicker than average hymen. If she had had her's broken prior to marriage, they wouldn't have experienced so many problems and a sexless marriage.
And tampons will cause less 'breakage' than those cups you posted. But if any women does accidentally break their hymen they are very lucky...they will have more enjoyable sex. And the guy will have more enjoyable sex as well.
And I dount any women would bother lying about the hymen unless they are with a guy that actually cares. Most guys don't care, and prefer the women didn't have a hymen and most women would also prefer that their's was gone, so meeting a womenn who would actually bother lying about something as trivial as a hymen is VERY unlikely.
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dreamangel
Member
Posts: 64
Registered: 02-26-2006 Location:
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posted on 04-06-2006 at 08:29 |
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I agree
I agree with melvaughn. Most people don't realize that the hymen comes in different shapes. What is thick and resiliant for one women may be thin and easily breakable for another. No two women are the same. And I agree, that most women (including virgins) couldn't care less if they have a hymen...most do not want to have one, regardless if they are still a virgin.
Hymens come in various shapes and designs. If your hymen is still intact and shaped like a person-hole cover, or a septum (a thin line of skin which divides the center of the vaginal opening, as does the septum of our nose), then this thin membrane of skin may stretch or break. On the other hand, if you have a hymen shaped like a crescent moon around the bottom or side of the vaginal opening, then tampons may not interfere at all. Interestingly, not all women are born with hymens, and hymens can break without women knowing it. Strenuous activities, such as bicycle riding, horseback riding, stretching, or dancing, can also cause the hymen to break. Lastly, a woman's hymen could have already been broken or stretched by sexual activity, even if she has not had a penis inside of her.
It's important to realize that the hymen is not a reliable indicator of whether a person has been sexually active or not. This is especially true since for some women, the hymen can be stretched or torn by fingers, tampons, sex toys, masturbation, or even at a gynecological exam. For others, using tampons or inserting fingers does not interfere with the tissue at all. There are also women whose hymen tissue is so flexible that it moves aside during penetration. So in other words, there are lots of variations in a women's body and in the shape, thickness of the hymen.
This website is great...They hymen has FIVE designs and this site shows sketched drawings of what the hymen looks like and lots of useful medical info.
Quoted from the above link: "But not all females bleed the first time they have sex. That's because some girls have thinner hymens than others, and some are born without a hymen - which is perfectly normal."
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melvaughn
Member
Posts: 68
Registered: 06-30-2005 Location:
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posted on 04-06-2006 at 12:29 |
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Idea of "ownership and Posession"
Why are so many young men hung up on the fact their future wife may not have a hymen?
Is/are the church/parents being so lack in their sexual education to explain that just because a girl does not have a hymen does NOT mean she has fosaken her purity?
I'm on a number of forums, quite a few of which are Christian, and the number of guys I come across who blantantly state they will be very upset if they don't get to break the hymen of their wife on their wedding night, surprises me.
Some have actually gone so far to question if they can marry a woman because she states she broke her hymen some other way. Again, a lot say they would hate their wife to do 'stretching' exercises before the wedding night, or use a tampon, so that they could be the first THING that ever entered her 'there', and so that she would bleed on the wedding night...
Why do men put so much emphasis on blood needing to be shed on their wedding night?
Sorry, it's just a peeve. I have no problem with someone saying they would PREFER to marry a virgin (especially if these men are virgins themselves), but as to them admitting they feel ripped off that they don't get to 'bleed' their wife on their wedding night, sounds more sadistic, than loving, to me.
Truthfully I have to chalk it up to the selfish immaturity of the individuals in question. I can only believe that the inability to see the world in other than very self centered, black and white terms can lead to such a dreadful attitude.
BTW, not only does a lack of a hymen NOT prove she is not a virgin, but having a hymen does not prove she IS a virgin. Some women have rather flexible hymens that can survive several sexual encounters, and it's also been shown that a hymen can heal up from a single sex act.
So I think you need to reevaluate your notion that the hymen is 100% proof of virginity.
(Sorry, sometimes Christian kids and their overly judgmental attitudes really irritate me! ) - there are more important things to be 'obsessing over'
Also, the age category of this site, is not only young, but most of the people on this site, don't sound very well-informed or educated!
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dreamangel
Member
Posts: 64
Registered: 02-26-2006 Location:
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posted on 04-06-2006 at 13:02 |
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Well Said
Well said melvaughn. Well it's nice to ideally strive to marry a virgin, it shouldn't become a matter of life or death... nobody is perfect. Just because someone is a virgin, doesn't mean they will be this great, perfect wife and person. I've met quite a few 'bitchy/pretentious virgins'
Likewize I have met too many wonderful individuals who are NOT virgins to judge them or think any less of them. It's silly to by-pass some great people who have great characteristics for someone who might be a virgin, yet lacking in other areas. Just because you're marrying a virgin, does not mean you'll have a perfect relationship, which is why, virginity alone should never be a deciding factor in a marriage. It's never a good idea to become too 'legalistic' or rule-based when it comes to love.
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thismooseissex
Newbie
Posts: 8
Registered: 04-03-2006 Location: stafford, va
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posted on 04-06-2006 at 19:03 |
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please help me!
i know for fact that i wont be a virgin when i get married but if the guy i marry cant handle that he doesnt deserve me. but no one is answering my question. if a sex toy can be used does that mean that i probably dont have a hymen?
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dreamangel
Member
Posts: 64
Registered: 02-26-2006 Location:
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posted on 04-07-2006 at 07:32 |
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sex toy
"if a sex toy can be used does that mean that i probably dont have a hymen?'
Not necessarily. You might have a flexible hymen that is simply stretching to make way for the sex toy. Some people, even after having sex, still have their hymen or might have remnants of their hymen, so it's possible you still have one. It's only until after childbirth that the last traces of the hymen are completly removed. Some hymens can even grow back after years of abstinence. Or it may have already been accidently broken when you were younger and you don't know it. Before you have sex, it's probably a good idea to see a gyno. If you can use a sex toy pain-free, I'd say that's a good sign that you'll adjust much better to sex, and have less pain.
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thismooseissex
Newbie
Posts: 8
Registered: 04-03-2006 Location: stafford, va
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posted on 04-07-2006 at 12:29 |
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thank you!
thank you so much dream angel, no one has been answering my questions, so thank you for finally clearing it up for me. ive been trying to figure all this out. !
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melvaughn
Member
Posts: 68
Registered: 06-30-2005 Location:
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posted on 04-10-2006 at 06:40 |
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Actually!
Actually Dreamangel, the hymen cannot grow back. It isn't a piece of regenative tissue, BUT if it's not completely destroyed by at least several acts of intercourse, it can heal up and tear again at a later date. Also, in some women the hymen does not tear as much as fold down - meaning a woman can actually have intercourse several times and still have a hymen that may move back to it's original position.
Someone did some research on this at my healthcare centre because of questions arising from rape and molestation cases - it was found that a seemingly intact hymen did not prove virginity.
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The_Scribe
Member
Posts: 61
Registered: 02-16-2006 Location:
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posted on 06-26-2006 at 21:29 |
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.
'I've used these reusable menstrual cups before. They are a replacement for tampons. The product comes with a warning that you should not use it if you have strong feelings about keeping your hymen intact. The first time that I inserted it I experienced a LOT of pain and a little bit of bleeding and my hymen broke...so YES, not all hymens are thick... That divacup website is a sales pitch and they are trying to make money off of a new product so of course they will tell you how wonderful it is, but when I bought the product it came with a warning and my hymen broke. The divacup is four inches wider and thicker than a tampon which is pencil thin in comparison...I also found the thing almost impossible to insert. I would NOT reccomend it for a virgin at all!!!! How would you know about a women's hymen anyway? ARe you a women? Unless you have a hymen yourself, you can't know what women experience. The hymen comes in four different shapes in the avarage women and each women is different. Some break very easily, simply from falling down or an accident as a child.
There is nothing remotely symbolic about a hymen. It's a layer of skin that breaks, tears, rips, can bleed for a week, can sometimes cause internal scarring for months....If your future wife doesn't have a hymen or has broken it accidentially count yourself lucky....you will have less hassels. I met one women that was incapable of having sex for six months because she had a thicker than average hymen. If she had had her's broken prior to marriage, they wouldn't have experienced so many problems and a sexless marriage.
And tampons will cause less 'breakage' than those cups you posted. But if any women does accidentally break their hymen they are very lucky...they will have more enjoyable sex. And the guy will have more enjoyable sex as well.
And I dount any women would bother lying about the hymen unless they are with a guy that actually cares. Most guys don't care, and prefer the women didn't have a hymen and most women would also prefer that their's was gone, so meeting a womenn who would actually bother lying about something as trivial as a hymen is VERY unlikely.'
You used the Diva cup, Sure you did. 
I believe you said you were a male, so you never had a hymen.
Anyway, women should use a pad. They are just as absorbant now as anything on the market.
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luckycharmsuntouched
Member
Posts: 37
Registered: 06-04-2006 Location:
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posted on 07-01-2006 at 21:35 |
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.
the scribe
i believe that you,too, said that you were a man... so how would you have an opinioin which really matters when it comes to a period... cause i dont know any guy who has ever had a period...
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princessprettykitty
Junior Member
Posts: 22
Registered: 06-21-2006 Location:
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posted on 07-02-2006 at 05:33 |
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reply
wats the thing about having a hymen anyway? Some girls are born without them and alot of girls break as there growing up especially if they play alot of sports or horse riding. Having one or not doesn't mean u are or arent a virgin.
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redrick
Newbie
Posts: 2
Registered: 07-14-2006 Location:
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posted on 07-14-2006 at 19:05 |
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Hymen
It wasb't until the third intercourse that my wife's hymen broke. She bled a little then, but had no pain.
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melvaughn
Member
Posts: 68
Registered: 06-30-2005 Location:
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posted on 07-16-2006 at 01:36 |
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Hello!!!
You used the Diva cup, Sure you did.
I believe you said you were a male, so you never had a hymen.
Anyway, women should use a pad. They are just as absorbant now as anything on the market.
'
First off, I'm female, short for Melanie. And yes, I tried using Diva Cups before. They are 4 inches wide and the size of a small cup. A tampon in comparison is a thin pencil. It doesn't take a genious to figure out which hymen will break using these two?
And second of all, you are not a women therefore you do not have the right to tell any women what they should or shoudn't use in regards to their periods. Unless you get a period yourself, you should keep your mouth shut!
Inserting a tampon is the equivalent of inserting a finger which most women at some point have done, so does it really matter one way or the other? Your obsession with the hymen is unhealthy. It's like a women saying they'd refuse to marry a man who had ever 'touched' his penis before because he's now 'tainted' (or no longer a virgin) There's really no difference between the two and both sound crazy and stupid!
Maybe you have paranoia disorder?
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cheerstar
Junior Member
Posts: 18
Registered: 07-17-2006 Location:
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posted on 08-28-2006 at 15:16 |
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..
' if a sex toy can be used does that mean that i probably dont have a hymen?'
your hymen does not tear all at once and sometimes it wont tear for a while...it depends on how deep you go or how hard you went.. if you teared your hymen it would have bled.
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John24
Junior Member
Posts: 23
Registered: 04-11-2006 Location:
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posted on 09-10-2006 at 19:18 |
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Just to add
"de-flower" means what?
To break the hymen? Or to be a woman's first sexual experience?
I vote for the latter.
The first would imply that the only "proper" consummation of marriage is one involving pain for the bride. And we modern people are far beyond the times when women were commodities to be bought, sold, and traded, so let's leave ALL the old thoughts of a woman's virture behind, too, please.
But a husband insisting that his wife still have her hymen when it's their first time together anyway? That's just outside of my understanding. Many virgins can be without a hymen for various reasons. Some have their hymen surgically removed to lesson the pain, other's have broken their's accidentally. Likewize, some women still manage to have their hymen even after having sex. Get over the obsession! The women herself is more important than a layer of skin. The significance of having sex together for the first time, whether or not you've slept with other people in the past, is still a meaningful and beautiful experience for most people. Enjoy the fact that this is your first time together, don't be fixated on a layer of skin, because that sounds sadistic and posessive not loving.
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