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BaddogUk
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 05-03-2006 Location:
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posted on 05-03-2006 at 11:25 |
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Bad f*** dilema
Hy all!! i have a bad dillema!! i realy don't know what to do.!i had meet a girl about 8 mnts ago ..end i start put some feelings in this realationship.!She truly love me "i know this.but my problem is ..i ask she ..how many gus she sleep with...end my luky number is 4 i'm the number 4.i need to know what other gus will do in the same situation,but do/t forghet Is realy love involved in this ..I can call she a hore?or i can carryon with this relationship?end hope time will make me forghet all this things..
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moonlite
Member
Posts: 93
Registered: 07-20-2005 Location:
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posted on 05-03-2006 at 14:28 |
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Baddog
Are you unhappy because she was truthful withyou? Have you had no other relationships? Why do you think she is inferior to you? I bet she deserves better!
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GradBoy
Senior Member
Posts: 124
Registered: 02-22-2006 Location: Va
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posted on 05-03-2006 at 22:45 |
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never
I never ever will think to get married with someone who already had sex with someone. Pure is for pure; I never had any sex, so I want a virgin one.
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arronbond
Member
Posts: 79
Registered: 01-22-2006 Location:
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posted on 05-04-2006 at 13:34 |
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YOU PRAT
THE SECOND RESPONSE IS FROM PEOPLE I HATE WHAT IF AS SOME MIGHT SAY FALL IN LOVE WITH A GIRL AND THEN YOU FIND OUT SHES HAD SEX BEFORE YOU SHOULD ACCEPT PEOPLE FOR WHAT THEY ARE TO ME YOURE AS BAD AS A RACIST A HOMOPHOBE OR A SEXIST YES I DO BELIVE IN FREDOM OF EXPRESSION ITS YOUR RIGHT AS WELL AS MINE BUT YOU NEED TO START THINKING NOT EVERYBODY WAITS IF ANY WHICH IS THERE CHOICE TO ME SEX IS JUST WELL SEX THATS IT BUT YOU NEED TO OPEN YOUR MIND AND GROW UP IM NOT TRYING TO OFFEND YOU IM SAYING A FACT YOURE NOT LIVING IN REALITY AND DONT HAVE A GO AT ME YOU CLEARLY HAVE ISSUESS REGGARDING PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAD SEX YOU NEED TO THINK IM NOT TRYING TO HINDER YOU JUST HELP YOU OK SEE YA AROUND
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dreamangel
Member
Posts: 64
Registered: 02-26-2006 Location:
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posted on 05-05-2006 at 10:37 |
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Sounds superficial
Gradboy, so just because a women is a virgin, they are perfect and have no faults? It's nice to aspire to marry a virgin, but it should never become an obsessive matter of life and death! People should be viewing virginity as an added bonus if you can find it. But people are not perfect, and When I meet someone to marry it would be a HUGE turn-off if I knew in my heart, this person, who I love, would no longer marry me, if I had slept with another person. Being accepting of people's faults is a large part of having a sucessful marriage. Marriage is not about 'ownership' You do not OWN the women just because they are a virgin. I think it is incredibly superficial if you were to meet an amazing women, fall in love and then refuse to marry them for some trivial thing like a past sexual encounter. Why condemn someone because they fell in love and had sex in their past? Would you refuse to marry someone because they once lied to someone in their past? I'm betting NO. So why is having slept with someone else any different. You are not going to find someone who is a perfect clean slate!!! This is just a part of life. People get divorced, relationships don't work out. There are more important things in life than whether or not the women is a virgin. I'd be more concerned about whether the women is a good person and has the qualities that will make for a good relationship. Virginity does not neccessarily make for a 'good' relationship.
Realistically, a women, the older she gets, is not going to find a male virgin. Most women have to deal with this fact, and men should to.
The more you narrow down your dating pool of who you will marry or date, the harder it will be to find someone. Also, you might be throwing away some great women, for some idealistic, narrow selection, and as a result not have as good of a relationship than if you were more open-minded and accepting......"man I should talk on this forum more often...I'm so wize"
My best advice. View virginity as a bonus if you find it, but part of marriage is forgiveness. As a Christian, God forgives past mistakes and past sexual sins...the person is new/pure once again. And it is very hypocritical to condemn people that God has already forgiven and somehow put yourself on some 'holier than thou' pedastal. I can guarantee, people will never find happiness if they have unrealistic or narrow-minded standards, because they will never be able to find that perfect person they are looking for.
Everyone is equal in God's eyes: Virgins and Non-virgins.
Judging from your posts, you sound a bit mean-spirited, and controlling. (As if the women has to live under your 'rules') I also think you have far too highly an opinion of yourself...as though you think you are 'perfect' Not being humble is equal of a sin in God's eyes, as someone who has had sex outside of marriage. Therefore, you are no better than a typical non-virgin....if you really believe non-virgins are somehow inferior. Most women, virgins included are going to be attracted to a man who is non-judgmental and accepting, unless you are looking for a women who has no opinions and who you can control? But then I'd suggest buying a blow-up doll..do you think 'plastic' would be 'pure' enough for you????
Some of my closest friends are NOT virgins, and they are wonderful people with great characteristics and great personalities and I would never think less of them because they fell in love and had sex.
I would hate to think that the man I'm dating would no longer 'want' or marry me if I made some mistakes in my past. Everyone has some kind of past. If the guy I meet is a virgin, I'm sure they are not perfect in other areas, but I would still accept their faults, and if a guy is NOT a virgin, I would accept this as well. The past is the past. People should start living in the "present".
Your thoughts so far on this forum have been very 'black and white" as if life is either like this or it's like that. This is too simplistic of a view point and shows a lack of depth toward anything but your own narrow views.
The views I've read on this forum is the EXACT reason why people don't stay here for long. People read these close-minded, judgmental attitudes and they go elsewhere where they can actually be accepted and have an intelligent debate. No one wants to talk with a broken record or with someone who goes around and around in circles coming back again and again to the same issue. This is why this forum is dead, and this is why, everyone has already left!!!!
The number of people on this websight is equivalent to the close-minded attitudes of it's viewers.
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GradBoy
Senior Member
Posts: 124
Registered: 02-22-2006 Location: Va
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posted on 05-06-2006 at 21:33 |
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Cultural Difference
Dream Angel,
You are really good person to talk to. I read all of your posts, except couple of offensive expressions, I appreciate your efforts sharing your opinions, thank you much.. I beg your pardon that I can't reply to all of your posts separately, I just came back from 8-hour long trip 
if you use msn messenger, add me, I can talk to you without tossing and speaking to depressed' people (like aronbond)
Dreamangel,
Lastly I made a really hard move to undertand the concept of M. And ended up concluding it as a cultural difference.. here in states, you somehow find it natural, whereas in some other countries where I've been past 5-6 years, they view it differently.. reliying on some -to you subjective for me objective- facts, I still don't agree with M.. and still think it's nothing but degredation of soul when done without love, passion and affection.. means I do agree with mutual M.. there is no problem with it.. nevertheless, I want to talk some other issues, if you don't mind.
This subject, marring a non-virgin one, bothers me nowadays.. I myself, with all of borthers [3] and most of my friends [~120] are all male virgins.. some of them already got married. Now, for me who was raised up in such pure society where there is no premarital sex at all, it's hard to accept serious life-long bond with a girl who gave her very important gift to someone else.. I don't know, but I can't accept it.. I agree, if she already understood her fault and repented, that's fine, God will forgive her.. however, I'm not that strong.. I am afraid that one day she made me very mad which opens this matter once again.. which could possible be offensive.. this scares me a lot. I wan't to love my dear wife for ever!!! Wihtout hurting her; breaking her heart!!!! She would be me, and I will be her.. parts of bodies.. that strong bond.
Being honest, there are couple of girls out there who made proposal to me. You didn't here it wrongly.. I never had anything like that in my mind, though they knew me very well; my family, my charcter.. educational background.. However, I declined.. telling that I'm not ready and have things to finish (PhD). However, the main reason I do not love any of these friends. Maybe that's just because I don't spend much time for the issue.
There was a girl whom I talked too much lately.. but never thinking getting any life-long relation.. today she sent me an email asking me to marry her 
I'm so confused and don't really know what to do..
I am PhD to be (in a year) on a field I would tell to you in private.
Tnx
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arronbond
Member
Posts: 79
Registered: 01-22-2006 Location:
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posted on 05-07-2006 at 14:02 |
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lol
you make me laugh me depressed maybe but ive got the balls to say to speak my mind lol i just dont care cos your opinions are controlled i just spit up what needs to be said see you around fuck head
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GradBoy
Senior Member
Posts: 124
Registered: 02-22-2006 Location: Va
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posted on 05-07-2006 at 23:38 |
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depressed idiot
you are just an idiot with thick and dumb head.
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arronbond
Member
Posts: 79
Registered: 01-22-2006 Location:
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posted on 05-08-2006 at 13:47 |
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i know
i know what iam end of i have opinions and if it offends people good just like always the truth is some thing you cant face
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dreamangel
Member
Posts: 64
Registered: 02-26-2006 Location:
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posted on 05-17-2006 at 20:04 |
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Love??
I think people who make comments that they could NEVER marry a non-virgin are said by those who have never been in love. Once someone is in love, they are in love with the person, not an immaterial piece of skin/hymen. Once you are so completely head in heels in love, you care about who the person is 'inside' You are in love with their soul. Your love for them becomes unconditional, no matter what mistakes they made in the past. A part of love is loving ALL of the person, even their faults. Trust me, once people fall in love, no one is going to concern themselves with a technical formality like virginity or a layer of skin- if you can find a virgin and you happen to fall in love, then that is great, but I would hate to see people enter a hasty marriage ONLY because they finally found a virgin and no other reason. You are falling in love with a person, not a perfect vision of what you 'think' the women 'should' be. That comes across as selfish. Are you marrying the virgin because its what you think you DESERVE, (which is very selfish) or can you look past that and actually fall in love with the 'person'?
I can 100% gurantee that the 'must marry a virgin" or else comments are said by people who have not even been 'slightly' in love.
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luckycharmsuntouched
Member
Posts: 37
Registered: 06-04-2006 Location:
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posted on 06-20-2006 at 23:52 |
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...
Dream Angel,
i couldnt agree with you more. i couldnt have said these things better myself. however, gradboy, you come across as a dumb ass twit who knows nothing about the real world and how society works. maybe if you were more open minded and thought about it more then you would find that sex is wonderful even out of marrige. and you cant expect a whole forum of intelligent people to believe that you have never mastrubated. everyone does it so i just think you should get off of your soap box and come back down to the real world.
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AyaSan
Member
Posts: 27
Registered: 08-25-2006 Location:
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posted on 08-25-2006 at 23:32 |
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OPEN MINDED
i must say, because im a chinese, and came to america when i was 9. i still believe in the asian culture in not having sex till you are married. but i know fore sure, for americans, at least most, sex is a common thing for not married ppl! so don't take it hard on your gf for having sexed before. if you really love her too, then you should accept her for being truthful. and if you really cant, then you don't love her the way she loves you and maybe you should end it. and i must say to all the people out there! just cause you're a virgin doesnt make you a good hearted person. and even though virginity is an important thing, it is nt the ONLY thing you should judge a person on. open your mind! at this time of age, abstanence is just not that common anymore.
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KICKER
Newbie
Posts: 9
Registered: 09-06-2006 Location:
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posted on 09-06-2006 at 06:36 |
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Shallow and Close Minded
I just have to say this first before I get to the subject at hand. Gradboy, You have got to be the most shallow and closed minded person on this forum. The reason I say this is ANYONE that refers to virginity as a GIFT needs to get thier mind out of the dirt. Is it in a box? NO. Is it wrapped in paper? NO. Does it come with a bow and tag with your name on it ??? GOD NO. Its not a GIFT. Its a privilege. Maybe you need to get laid to get your panties out of your ass.
Now onward to the subject at hand. If you really like the person in which you have grown to love and have shared this much time of your life with, Dont ya think she might appreciate the fact that you held out for her? Are you going to hold it against the person you love, That she made the decision to lose her virginity before you? Is yours and her happiness really worth that much to ya? Why not focus on being the MAN she needs rather than whats between her legs and who had it first. Sex is sex no matter if your first or fifth. Just share the moment when it comes rather than dwell on it.
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sexybiatch69
Junior Member
Posts: 23
Registered: 09-08-2006 Location:
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posted on 09-09-2006 at 17:36 |
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k
the past is the past
get over it
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